Friends

Friend- (merriam-webster dictionary) one that loves free, one that is not hostile.
I have not had very many good friends in my life, i do not trust people easily and definately do not let people get to me and care what people think about me or my relationships. Their are about 2 people inmy life that I would try to keep as friends, Jessie (my beloved roomate) and Lindsey (my very best friend ever) I have recently came across some people that I would apparantly do anything for. That scares me. I don;t think they could care anything about me. They say that I am detaching myself from them but when I am sitting on my side I just see the point that I don't know where any plans are made or I do not know anything about, but I am jussetting myself apart...am I supposed to invite myself?! I don't do that I only come to gatherings if I am invited and feel like I am wanted. When plans are made and everyone is talking about it, and you just found out about it a couple minutes ago, it kinda makes you feel like not a part of the group. I used to have to best group of friends a person could ask for, I could be myself and not care about how loud i was or how much I drank. I found someone that makes me happier than anything in the world and I would think a friend would be happy for you no matter what. I feel like I am being cut out of the picture ever so slightly and thought to be the "bad"guy that is making the world revolve arounf themself. I want my friends to be happy, I want everyone to be happy and have a good time together. I know this doesn't make a lot of sense, but I just want to be happy and in an awesome relationship (like now) with Billy and all of our friends to be happy about us, and that we have found something good, is that to much to ask?!?!